The mirror

I have been involved in private psychotherapy and consulting practice more or less actively since 1996. You might imagine that I have been privileged to witness really a lot of transformation and progress in the lives of my clients thus far.

And I am grateful for that. You know, in humanistic and transpersonal therapy and consulting, the client and therapist are always working as a team. Progress is realized by both. That’s my experience.


What I share below, I would have never ever said to a client in a session, for it is important to me that similar realizations are born from within the client’s heart, when the time is right.

Here we go:

“Those people that do not understand you, maybe even downright reject you behind your back, and all others who are not really honest with you and are only manipulating you and taking advantage of you, remember them?

And others, who are not really giving anything to you, who only take from you and in effect only hurting you? Remember them?

And those close to your heart, who kind of understand you but not really, and others who say I love you, but you know in your heart that their love is not really the Love you feel for them – remember them?

And those significant others, who are looking at you, listening but not really hearing you? And those who talk with you, but still say nothing, who stay together with you but still leave you alone in the end?
Remember them?

If all those people would really really really understand, really feel and accept you as you are along with your courage, honesty, purity and willingness to sacrifice for the well-being of others – would they give you a medal, do you think? A tangible recognition of some sort for your qualities, you hope?

Would you have it professionally framed and hang it on your wall to look at and remind you of your pure and honest heart?

All you would need for that, my friend, is a mirror.”

<warm look>



Why We Shout In Anger

Why We Shout In Anger

A Yoga Master who was visiting river Ganges to take bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked:

‘Why do people shout in anger at each other?’

Disciples thought for a while, and one of them said, ‘Because we lose our calm, we shout.’

‘But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner.’, said the Master.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the Master.

Finally He explained:

‘When two people are angry at each other, their hearts distance a lot. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small…’

The Master continued:
‘When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.’

He then looked at his disciples and said:
‘So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more, or else there may come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return.’